A quiet week
An introspective of finding the good thing's in life.
As some of you have read, I thoroughly enjoy looking for the small things in life. As of late it's been difficult to find those small things. The stress of work, the worry of friendships, the feeling of wasting time... it all hits hard and fast. This week I found it incredibly difficult to find something good. There were things that kept me going, and things that helped in moving forward, but... something I thoroughly enjoyed? That's a bit harder.
However, even with all those things piling on along with the worry of debt and the depression of not knowing how to move forward with the things I enjoy and want to do as a living. I've managed to find something small. This time, it wasn't D&D or anything. It was a moment of just sitting down, looking at my artwork and acknowledging that, even as far as I have to go... I am proud of how far I have come.
Art is subjective and I always have a bad habit of looking down at my own pieces. While many people say they love it, whenever I speak with a professional artist, they just kind of acknowledge and then move along in a kind of... meh, motion. I've always been open for constructive criticism. People say to post your work so that you can get that feedback... but I almost never do.
So, I came to despise my artwork and try so desperately to imitate those who are successful in hopes that my work will be seen, that what people say will actually come to pass... that I'm not just screaming into the void.
Having such a mentality is draining and, for a brief moment this week, it finally was relieved as I stared at my work and glanced at a work from last year and thought... it's small... but I really have improved.
Last year at this time, I posted this drawing. While I still think it's good and cute. It's fascinating to see and compare it to the one from this year.
Karina and Maxwell sitting and staring at the camera.
Xiskiro in the rain after his kidnapping.
It's minor things, better grasp of anatomy, willing to use references, a slightly better understanding of color effects and the like make it so that the second shows there have been improvements, as small as they can be.
I just have to remember it takes time to grow and I just have to keep moving forward with what I am learning now. Sure, there are things to improve on, but I shouldn't look down at the steps I have made to make the improvements that brought me this far.
So, yes, my good thing of the week is a small one, but sometimes it's necessary. Telling yourself you are fine the way you are, that you are improving and doing better than your old self... that is something everyone needs to hear every so often in their lives, especially from themselves.
What is your good thing of the week?
What little moment or event reminded you of what is good in your life? Sometimes the good thing can be big, like a marriage or a birth and other times it can be small, like a hug from a loved one or stranger when you so desperately need someone to listen. So, tell me yours. What is one thing you found to be Good this week?
After all, there is always a silver lining, sometimes it just takes time to find it.
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